Charley's drawers...actual drawers not pants Dad-6 Mom-3

First I'd like to welcome my newly homeliving friend Aubrey to the blogging world (TalesFromTheVille.tumblr.com). Good stuff.

I came across this issue the other day and I hesitated posting it because it didn't exactly shine a good light on myself. Biased media...yup. But after enough Law and Order episodes I was able to convince myself beyond a reasonable doubt that I could blame this on Mom.

So I decided the other day to clean out four (4) of my drawers in my dresser out of boredom I guess. Not long ago Tommy cleaned out his closet and found some real treasures of stuff Mom saved for him like a STH prom '97 photo order form. I hoped I would get something half as good. After a physical struggle just to get them open from being over stuffed I began the sorting. What I saw next will forever change the frequency with which I throw crap out. Some of the highlights of the gems I found include, but are not limited to:

• Movie stubs- ranging from the first Harry Potter to Firewall to Mulan. Yes the original theatrical debut of Mulan.
• Pokemon cards- At least they weren't in any kind of protective casing so thats ok right?
• Half a dollar- not 50 cents, but a dollar torn in half.
• A coupon given to all 8th graders for a free ice cream sandwich at the St. Thomas More cafeteria.
  
• Every birthday card ever given to me. Heres a brief synopsis of every card I received during the middle school grades. Front of card: birthday cake with a lit fuse. Inside of card: "hope your birthday is a blast!" Then simply writing your name. Not even a signature. Just writing it.
  
• An instruction manual to Frogger on Gameboy. Do you really need a whole booklet of instructions to play Frogger.
• A napkin from the Imperial Palace Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. We stayed in a suite I believe...

and lastly

• My Beanie Babies Club Charter Member card. I was a gold card member.
  

So the question may arise as to how this is Mom's fault. Well Mom, from a young age, as forced upon me the idea of saving crap. I would not have done that on my own, hence I cannot be held liable. Question me if you will Jack McCoy, but just one reader and I can get a hung jury.

So thanks to Mom, I have a lot more drawer space and a poor understanding of the law. Dad-6 Mom-3...Charley 1/2.

Pizza...30 minutes or its...time to keep waiting Dad-6 Mom-2

Sorry its been like a week since I've written one, but I've been pretty bogged down at home with not working. Its a real drain. But since then I've got another look for you into the Tauer house.

In case you aren't aware, my father is about 5'8, red hair, and not entering an iron man contest this or next week. However, he feels his mere presence is intimidating enough to speed up a pizza order.

No one in our family is especially patient, but when it comes to some things, like ordering a pizza, I understand that a certain time commitment is part of the deal. Its an unwritten contract with every pizza place in the world. You take an hour and I undertip. Thats the system. Like the movie theaters; you overcharge, I treat the floor around me like a dumpster. The circle of life.

My father however, has a different method to circumvent the system.

Normal person: Call pizza place, order pizza, wait for it to be delivered or go down the street and pick it up yourself.
Dad Tauer: Call pizza place, ask if they are making pizzas today, go to pizza place and order in person, stand there and stare at the high school kid working there until pizza is in hand.

Now I'm not sure if his goal is to have them just cook one the minute he orders it and hand it to him, or them to give him someone else's pizza. But either way he's going in and staring them down until he gets a pizza.

So the moral of the story is Dad missed 3/4 of CSI: Miami, and 45 minutes later returned home with a pizza.

But boy was it covered in pepperoni! Dad takes a slice for a 6 to 2 lead